margin

recently, we have been feeling very much as though god is telling us to make sure we get enough down time together as a family, and as a couple. we had hoped the addition of bennett to the family would force us to stay home more, thereby causing us to get more rest. lotsa folks told us that was a joke, and we knew it was, to an extent.

but in adition to the relentless needs of a now toddler (can you believe he's a friggin toddler already??), we still find ourselves out at all hours, desperately trying to keep all our relationships up.

we have noticed increasingly that the more we are focused on ourselves, the more bennett begs for attention. the more he begs for attention the more determined i become to finishiing whatever project i'm in the middle of. and we always seem to feel like we're just a few minutes away from finishing- that if we could just get him to be self-sufficient for a few minutes more, we'd be able to finish, and then we would devote our full attention.

if you're already shaking your head at me, gimme a break! i'm learning. heh.

so one day a few weeks ago, god must have realized how thick we were, and showed up in a real way. jen's car broke down on a busy stretch of road about an hour from our house. it's not really far away, and i was on my way home, so it was easy for me to meet her and pick her up, but when i got there, we had to wait around for the tow truck anyway, so we sat in an empty parkinglot under a tree. there was a grassy area nearby, and jen bennett and i were literally forced to sit there and do nothing but be together. it was utterly fantastic. for the first time in months, we paused and enjoyed just an extra 45 minutes of time together. the breather was also an eye opener.

shortly after that, one of the podcasts i listenend to began a series called take it to the limit. all about how we were just not desigend for the pace at which most of us live. i begin at this point to think more about hpw our breakneck pace is wrecking our efforts at getting the "happy family" thing down. mind you, i stopped at thinking, and had done little to make any changes.

today, liquid kicked off it's latest message series, called... yep, you guessed it: margin. ok god, i am now paying attention

what i am learning is that when you leave space between you and the car in front of you on the highway, it's because if you don't, and that driver takes an action you don't expect, there's a dang good chance the outcome will be catastrophic for you. not a big surprise. but the same is true for pretty much all areas of our life. if we don't leave that space financially, and something unexpected happens- bam! catastrophe. and bennett is the collateral damage. he gets neglected and when he clamours for the attention he needs, i feverishly work harder to get it done.

we need to breathe. it means, going to europe with bennett is a good idea, but trying to see 5 cities in 5 days is not. we don't need to do it all. we're too concerned with not missing anything.

we need peace. we need quiet. the quote, "be still, and know i am god" comes to mind. if we stop, and sit on the floor a while and play with bennett, we calm our minds & hearts. our stress levels go down, and we enounter far more real joy than we would if we had accomplished whatever truly meaningless task we were working on.

so i'm learning margin. and i actually recommend it.